Friday 6 March 2015

I am stuck

What did I get myself into? Gave into the pressure from myself and those around to go back to school. It seemed easy, filling forms, registering myself into the school, meeting new people and making friends. 

But since classes began, I feel like I do not know what I am doing. At the beginning, week 1 to 3. I almost packed up my bag and left to never look back but talked myself out of such a rush decision. Am required to write papers, with research in mind but I do not even have a topic to begin with. 

Gosh! who goes to school and not know what is expected of them. I do know, but I cannot seem to articulate my points or ideas to the lecturer clearly. Did my mind just forget how to be a student or what is happening? I am stuck and packing my bags and leaving is out of the question. 

Perhaps, its time I paid one of my lecturer's a visit for assistance because alone, with lots of books in front of my eyes is not working both for me and my assignments. I got back one of the papers and its funny how I had so much confidence when sending it but now my tail, I don't actually have one, is between my legs. 

What was I thinking? This isn't easy at all. My peers seem to have it all together but am not. Stuck is more like it. 

I took a break to talk to two of my new found friends. It is reassuring to talk to people who can understand what your going through. 

One of them had some really wise words. "Take one assignment at a time, one project at a time. Ensure you are succeeding in the small milestones. If you look at the big picture you will be in constant DISSONANCE*;) winking. And trust me when I say your classmates don't have it together, we are all in the same boat. The first semester is the hardest. Take it one day at a time." 

Right now am sort of looking at my screen and thinking its never that serious. In this case it is serious, but I need to relax and re look at it all one step at a time, one assignment at a time, one project at a time.

4 comments:

  1. Nice piece :). I feel you. Am also a case of looking all composed and everything on track n working out for me, on the outside. But inside, almost a mess lol.

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  2. Thank you for reading. Writing helps me to keep calm when my thoughts are all over the place. I wonder why its not working with this assignment business. Nways, its a case of perfect on the outside, mathogothanio ( whats the English name?) on the inside.

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  3. I do get this..trust me the being a student part of you comes back..then after a while it's just normal working and being in school..you'll be fine

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  4. Thanks for the encouragement Bree.

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